I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
