I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
