Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize