So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
