So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize