i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
