My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
