I cannot find my penis.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
love makes seman taste better
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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