i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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