office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize