My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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