Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
