Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
