just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
