hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
