It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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