Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
