We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
