Four minutes until I can fart!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
