Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
