trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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