Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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