i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
