I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
