Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
