Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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