Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
