You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I smell like Dick and happiness
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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