nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
