Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
