I'm drive I can fine osifer
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
