Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
