Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
