batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
