I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
