Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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