He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
