i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize