As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
