just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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