You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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