Your face is a jimmy john
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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