Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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