guys are not supposed to queef...right?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
