Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
