There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
No I am not eating basil off your cock
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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