My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
