Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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