Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
