you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i've created a new STD.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
