I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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