Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
