just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
