i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
